


You were my firework

by kettleowl



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Break Up, But mostly angst, I don't know if the ending is considered happy or not, Little Fluff, M/M, kind of a song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 06:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kettleowl/pseuds/kettleowl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were fireworks that went off too soon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You were my firework

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is - loosely/heavily - based on 'Fourth of July' by Fall Out Boy.  
> On another note, I was supposed to study for my physics exam but i spent my time writing this fic instead.

They couldn't blame anyone but themselves for the downfall of their relationship. They tried, they did their best, and they did everything they could - what they had the gut to do at least - to save what left of the relationship.  
It didn't work.

 

"We were too young."  
That was what they kept telling each other, telling themselves. That was the most honest and least hurtful reason for the end of their relationship. But they both knew that was the least important reason for there were too many problems in their relationship.   
(They were too young when they fell in love. The immature love that consisted of fun and baseless trust until there was no fun or trust anymore.)

It was incredible and dreamlike at first, the beauty of teenage love - Yamaguchi would think of the past and sighed wistfully.   
It was bitter toward the ending and Yamaguchi believed that was real hell.

Morning was their favorite time of the day. As Yamaguchi was not a morning person, Tsukishima would cook although cooking was not his expertise. Sometimes, during the time Tsukishima was cooking, Yamaguchi would wake up, cold feet and sleepy face, and joined Tsukishima at the kitchen. Some other time, if Yamaguchi hadn’t woken up, they would have a breakfast-in-bed. On some rare days, if Yamaguchi woke up first, he would make a big breakfast that would be enough for them to eat for lunch too.  
The last few months, their breakfast no longer existed. There was an attempt on both of their part though. They both woke up early and cooked together. But no cooking was done and it ended in a week of not seeing each other because Yamaguchi stayed at Hinata’s house while Tsukishima stayed at Tanaka’s.   
(Their shared apartment was full of too many good memories. One week later, Yamaguchi came back to take his personal stuff. The next day as Tsukishima’s turn. The apartment was not touched again until they came back to move out of it forever.)

Tsukishima couldn't pinpoint the exact moment when the words started turning hateful, the looks became blank and the touches were colder than December snow.   
What he did know though, was that they were like timed bombs. One moment, they were talking, smiling and the next, their yells and screams out-voiced the sound of the television. 

It began with the little things - little fire - like complaint about food being too salty, too bland or clothes on the floor, windows being left opened... Every little single thing was enough to annoy them into mindless rage. And the fire spread wide and far, turning into one big flame that burned everything, every people on its path. They started screaming the other’s flaws at each other, screaming things they didn't mean at each other.  
"I hate you" echoed out in the shared apartment.   
They couldn't see eye to eye anymore. Their relationship, they themselves were starting to break.

They did communicate; they did sit down and talk about it. They talked about their problems; they talked and tried to find the solution. It was enough, but just for a short time.   
As days passed by, their talk became shorter, their problems increased and the solution was never discussed again. Their talk usually ended with one of them packing things up and smacking the door on their way out – only to come back a few days later and another talk would begin and end. 

They thought they understood each other, or at least knew a lot about the other. But all they ever knew was just scratches at the surface of the other's mask. Both of them didn't know what they had done wrong or if they had not done enough.   
Getting to know each other was the basic step in any relationship, knowing more about the person you (supposed to) love was a joy. They felt it at the beginning of their relationship; they indulged in the feeling of contentment when one more little information about the other was in their possession.  
But gradually it didn't feel like that to them anymore. They didn't feel anything at all after all the fights and all the words they didn't mean, which was the worst thing that could and had happened. It would have been better if they had felt annoyed, felt angry, felt - felt something, anything at all.  
But there was nothing. They didn't care any longer, which gradually turned into ignoring each other and in the end, they were strangers.  
They were the best "I'll never know" to the other.

Of course, there were 'what if's. In fact, their relationship was full of 'what if's, so many that it started to spill out until every single of their friends, families noticed, knew and moaned for them.

When enough was enough and they agreed to part way, Yamaguchi sang "Fourth of July" as his farewell. Tsukishima joined in. It was the most peaceful time they had had around each other in half-a-year time.   
"You and I were fireworks..."  
The song and memories haunted them in their sleep, sometimes slipping into their daily life.

The last conversation:  
-Did we do our best?  
-We did…  
-C-could we have done better?  
-We could...  
-Then why didn't we do that? You know, did better.  
-I don't know.... Maybe we didn't know when was the right time, or what was the best action, or simply just because we were scared.   
-I guess you're right on this...   
-Do you want to start over?  
-It's not 'want' really; it’s more like 'need'. We both need the new start, the new life. We need space, need to give the other space, need to stay away from the other. And it's not a question either, it just what we need to do now.   
-Then do you have any regret?  
-More than many if we’re being honest.  
-Yeah… we didn't do so great anymore huh?  
-I didn't regret one thing though.   
-And what is that?  
-I didn't regret loving you.  
-Now that I think about it, loving you was the best thing in this whole mess. You know, I still love you… it's just...  
-I know what you're trying to say. It's a different kind of love now, isn’t it? Maybe a few years later, we would look back and be grateful for what we are doing now.  
-I hope so... So this is goodbye....  
-Goodbye...   
They separated on a fall night, with wind blowing through their hair, the moon highed up in the sky alongside the stars. They realized their heart had become lighter than ever.  
(They started dating on a fall night, with wind blowing through their hair and cloudy sky.) 

They often thought about their regrets. And "Fourth of July" came to mind again and again, every single time.  
"I wish I'd known how much you've loved me.  
I wish I'd cared enough to know."

In their happiest time, they have sang from the shortest song to the longest song, the saddest to the happiest one, some are famous, some are not, and some are songs they wrote about each other.   
Later on, when they moved out of the shared apartment to a new place, both of them found the draft of their songs. What caught their eyes weren't the old ones but the new ones, which had never been sung, had never been revealed, and had been a secret until that moment. It was messy handwriting on a small piece of paper, even on a piece of napkin and it broke them once again. Tsukishima shut himself in his new bedroom - no furniture, not even a bed - for a whole day; Yamaguchi still had red and puffy eyes a week later. 

More than a year later, they met again. In the crowded bookstore, they just stood there, one at the cashier, the other at the door.   
A year did change a person. They were both thinner but their eyes were no longer lifeless and full of tiredness anymore. Their face had colour now, the healthy pink colour. Yamaguchi had cut his hair, the hair he had let grown long until it was a ponytail when he started dating Tsukishima. Tsukishima looked more alive than he had been in the last six months of their relationship.   
They looked at each other, truly took in the sight of their ex-lover. Then Tsukishima smiled first - just a small curl of his lips - and Yamaguchi found himself smiling too. 

It was time they gave each other a new start, a new chance.

**Author's Note:**

> Does anyone know what 'You were my Versailles at night' mean? Please tell me ỌvỌ  
> I hope i got their characters right.


End file.
